all over the place

So yesterday ended up being great. After walking to school in the pouring rain and believing that my birthday was going to go horrible, it turned out really well. This whole week has been. Three of the four days here I have gone out for dinner. Gord, Maxwell and I hit up East Sides on Wednesday night, and that was so much fun. Yesterday for my birthday myself and 13 other girls went over to Neighborhood for a big birthday dinner. I had a great time. It helped me once again realize how thankful I am for all my friendships here at Great Lakes and I am so thankful for the girls support in my life.
Tonight I get to go to Greg and Jen's stag and doe. I am excited for that, hopefully it will be fun!
Anyways more exciting news I have made some new contacts. Bob had a girl email me from Guatemala concerning the trip there and it was nice just to make a connection with someone further away. She gave lots of advice and insights into how she felt about Guatemala and her missions there. I am so excited for Guatemala. I think it will be one of the best things I will ever encounter and talk about life transforming. I just need to work hard at saving and living and i know that January will come soon enough.
As well flipping through blogs has proven me something interesting. I have been able to the past few days to read and post on another guys (name is Scott)'s blog. That has been really encouraging, as in my last post I was talking about our blogs being able to plant seeds in peoples minds. Well this guy is another Christian and I really enjoy meeting other brother and sisters in Christ who I do not live near.
Monday is my interview for L'arche. Oddly enough Mr Boden brought up L'arche in class today, whereas most people have never even heard about it. I am looking forward to my interview. I think that someone with my personality could benefit from working there. But more, I think that i will be able to learn more amazing life lessons that God has presented in the world.
Isn't it amazing the way opportunities are always surrounding us. I am so thankful to God that whenever we feel like we are being tempted that we can look into Gods word and see that He will not tempt us beyond what we can bear, and that He will always provide a way out for us. Anyways....this entry is kind of giddy like...but oh well.
I pray that everyone is doing well... and each day is presenting you with opportunities to glorify God.

Little Things/Tree

The weekend is over. It went well. The worship as expected was awesome, i had a great time. We had Deeper Still lead the worship most of the time, as well do a concert for us. They did a great job. It was awesome to see the Lord working through them and their ministry of music. I believe that a lot of peoples hearts were touched this weekend.
It was very busy and very tiring. Most of the exec's are currently sick or extremely tired. I imagine it will take at least until next monday to finally catch up with themselves.
Tonight for Adelphe we are doing African Drumming, i am so excited for that. I used to take African Drumming in school when i was younger. I haven't done it in 6 years now....so i think it will be a refreshing experience. Next tuesday we are going to go swimming at brock for adelphe...all girls throughout the school are invited...hopefully it goes over well.
I find myself very interested in just flipping through different blogs. Its interesting to see insight into other peoples minds...to see what it is in this world dominating peoples time. Everyonce and a while i come across ones who have people dedicated to serving the Lord. It's interesting to think that by writing what we think or feel we could also be planting a seed in the minds of those who also like to flip through and read blogs...perhaps be an encouragement to others...hmm.
Well today i am tired, but i decided to stay to watch the Girls Soccer game....its their first one. They are playing Heritage, so i know Steph will be here...and Meg said that Melanie was coming too or something like that...which ever happens we will see.
Yesterday was a sombering day. I felt like i was struggling a lot in confidence...not for myself but for others...However I spent last night in a lot of prayer and meditation and I know that the Lords will is perfect and that the happy times in my friends lives will indeed teach them less than the trying times. As long as I am here to encourage them and offer pieces of advice that God gives through me....i am happy to do so.
To think of the saying "its the little things in life that count"....such a true statement. I think we as people living out our daily routines...we get caught up in the big things...when its the little things that mean everything...little notes of encouragement, a hug here or there, an email just mentioning the thinking of one...But not even things from people. Things that God has provided us with that we often don't see because we are so firmly planted in the assurance of them being there...such as food, clothing, shelter, natures vegetation etc. With the observations and realization of having all these things, we see we have so many blessings to truly count. The challenge I guess is to look deep into what we have and see our blessings. Don't overlook what is so plain to see yet so blinded out by other objects rather take the little things that mean so much and use them to our advantage. On that note i leave you with this quote; “Through a tree we were made debtors to God; so through a tree we have our debt canceled.”
— Irenaeus
" The serpent who accomplished his greatest victory from a tree (of the knowledge of the good and evil) suffered his greatest defeat from a tree (the Cross of Calvary)"-Dutch Sheets
Something to think upon

Youth Rally Excitement

Well this weekend brings forth the annual Great Lakes Youth Rally...and i am actually really excited. I am looking forward to seeing all the people and to hear the speaker. I can't wait to just see and hear 300 people just singing praises to God and participating in fellowship with one another. Yay!
Things with me have been relatively well. Been busy of course getting things ready for youth rally..today right at three thirty, Crystal and I will be assisting Beth in making lasagna!! mmmm..its for saturday nights meal.
I dont have too much to say...apparently i've run out of words...go figure..note that cause it doesnt happen often.

Corresponding with Look into their eyes

As i was scrounging through saved files in my shared space, i found these song lyrics i had saved...These lyrics are amazing and speak so much, when reading them though, instantly i thought of my previous "look into their eyes" entry....think about it...
"Sometimes my life turns to a blur
I don’t know where to go
Wanting things to go back the way they were
Not letting my feelings show
Drowning in tears
But none come from my eyes
Screaming but nobody hears
Hurt grows, hope dies
Friends disappearAnd enemies are all around
Nothing more here
As blood drips to the ground
Nobody sees through
All they can see is this smile
Nothing left more to do
I’ll be gone for awhile
Never did u look behind
All u did was ask
Because I wasn’t really fine
Behind my painted mask"

So i am very tired today and have a head ache....but its amazingly warm, especially for April..like 25'c...so awesome.
I havent updated for a while..yet I dont have much to say. I am sitting here in the computer lab and its extremely hot up here...but i can't really complain..because i love the weather...its looking a little bit cloudy outside though, i am afraid it might rain....hopefully not, but as they say April Showers bring May flowers..
Today was Justines sweet sixteen, as far as i can see she had an awesome birthday and now even though two years younger, shes one up on me...she got her G1 this morning. Yay..lol
well im done typing..lol..sorry for the oh so boring read..

Look into their eyes

Isn't it interesting the way the human mind performs...Psychology has always been something I truly enjoy looking into. Funny how we can deny things as much as we would like but yet the truth is always shining through. There is a saying that states "Your eyes tell a story that your smile cannot disguise". Yet in the world we are living in today, it's not about looking into people's eyes, it's more about avoiding any contact, and trying to get to wherever you are going. Fair, or unfair, it is the way things are.
Last night we had a really good devotional. I would say that God's love actually sank into people's hearts and flowed around the room from each and every brother and sister in Christ....but what about today? The way we love is so conditional.
Thanks be to God for His unconditional love, that no matter what we do, He accepts us and loves us everytime. Thanks be to God for the opportunities to enforce Christ's victory and love one another..May we all take time everyday despite the circumstances and love fellow beings, and not just glance and see smiles, but look deep into the eyes of each other and see what's really going on.

a buncha nothing

Well well well, its been sometime since i have updated..so i am taking some time to do it now. Usually i would have done it yesterday while i was in the lab fourth period, but instead Meg and I had some good conversations.
The weekend was good. A lot of fun. Disappointing that I didn't get to go to the BX dance, and play with Cait, but Richard Simmons kicked in and took over making a very eventful night for me, Crystal, Debrah and Lindsay. Chorus went well, we sounded really nice in the Providence Church...which altogether was a neat experience. On Friday night i got to hang out with Patrick which of course makes me happy...although we didnt do all too much...ouu but on Saturday we got to have sausages from the Canadian Tire Sausage vendor...mmmm they were so good..
hmm, anyways...yesterday was a great day too...i finally bought a phone card, and i used it to call Angie and Maria...two very important ladies in my life. I also talked to Justin on the phone, he was so cute...i love talking to babies/toddlers on the phone. I talked to Elijah this past weekend...so awesome.
Last night we met at Greg Whitfields for our bible study. It was really good. We talked about Ephesians 4...we barely fit it in on time...but I am really quite glad that I have the chance to participate in this from now until the end of my year. i think that it is quite the awesome thing...
well the sun has been happily shining for the last while, and its been amazing. Everything is turning green and yay.
the youth rally is fastly approaching, as are other events. I have sooo many things happening between now and June. I imagine it will go rather quickly.
This week we are doing our bible modules...and I am in Mr Bodens. It has been very good so far and we have a small amount of people, 6 in total...so its intimate, and nice...we also get to be in the guys common room so thats nice and comfy.
Welp..i think i am going to go home and sleep...ha there is soccer practise tonight, but I decided that i really dont want to be on the team..so without ever going to a practise i quit..hehe..just thought i would reinforce everyones thoughts on me being a quitter.
I am currently reading this amazing book called intercessory prayer. It has offered me so much insight and i love it. I highly recommend it..well now about me going home...i am undecided whether i should sleep in my comfy bed, or outside on the hard deck but in the sunlight...probably bed considering i have a head ache...okay so im rambling on..
Ciao

Boring Entry

hmm today i am tired..not enough sleep i suppose, its also rainy/cloudy which has some effect. I dont know that i have all that much to say, but i imagine that once i start typing things will come.
The last two days have been very busy, and lots of fun. Tuesday night i had my "bible study" with Shelby, except i locked my bible up here in the computer lab...so it was more of a discussion. From there i moved on to home, where i read some, and i started packing for the journey home, and i dont just mean the weekend. I have come to the conclusion that i am going to start packing up the things i dont need now and bring em' home, rather than having crap loads in june like last year. I also spent some time in Debrahs room, and we just talked about future things (ie. university etc).
Wednesday was a good day too. Spent most of the day in the gym, taking care of the bracket sheets for badminton....doing the same thing next Thursday but for zone. I went out with Jas yesterday for coffee...or lack there of, since neither of us had one..but i did use up some of my many roll up the rim coupons...went to waterloo last night with Gord and Debrah, and had tons of fun with all those people. yah...i am not much into detail today.
blah blah blah...i will have to write another time, when i am more...energetic.. :):)!
Have a super splendiferous day...me

Be prepared for a lengthy reading!

Well its been a number of days since i have updated. I was kinda withholding because i knew that whatever i were to begin typing would of course take me a long time....and time wasn't something i had..but now the time has come.
The weekend was yet another eventful time...more eventful than expected, a little overwhelming, but played out well enough. Dennis bought me a dozen mini red roses, which are absolutely beautiful, however it was the card with it that made me cry. He has been such a blessing in my life, and I am so thankful that God has allowed him to come and be a part of my mother's life, as well mine. Its nice to see smiles, and excitement in her eyes. Beyond the roses, he purchased a new 27" tv for us!! I was in disbelief, but i do need to mention, its been much easier on the eyes....but its not the tv that is amazing, it is his spirit of constant giving. He has been such an example to me in these last few months, and he is always spreading his love, and just embracing life for every moment.
After a very intense friday and saturday, pat and i went five pin bowling...very fun! I havent been bowling since i lived in Fergus, so that's been at least 3 years. I got 2 strikes, one each game, and ended up winning both. Its not about winning though, its about the fun...and i had the sweetest bowling shoes ever...they werent even like normal crappy ones. blah blah blah...on to more important things.
A couple of us have decided to have a weekly bible study group...an answer to my prayers. I wanted just a small group as to actually have intellectual discussions and feel and pray for each others needs. I really hope that we can stick with it from now till the end of the year. Its so good just to spend time studying God's words with my brothers and sisters in Christ and really get to the heart of things.
Tonight i think that Shelby and I are going to have a bible date. I love when her and I can get together. The questions that she have always encourage me as I see her spirit search for truth. I believe that searching for the truth is such a great quest, strengthening a person in all their needs.
Lily came in today to talk to our class about essential oils which was a great presentation. She really puts her heart into her beliefs...another encouragement.
I read a book in a day...which is an accomplishment for me...but the book was great. It was a true story behind the life of the Christian muscian Danny Orteli. He wife had developed cancer six months after they were married, and God took their relationship on quite a ride. I discovered some beautiful truths that are so simple yet so complex to actually figure out in the book, and i was very touched at the way God has been working through out this mans life.
Cait and i finally got together on the weekend, and went to tim hortons for a few hours. It was nice. I really hope that God will help carry her through this time, and just give her strength and more importantly strengthen her faith in Him.
I've been doublethinking Guatemala these past few days...Its something that I really need to spend time in intimate prayer with God about....I really desire to go, but over the past few days i have been feeling a piece of something holding me back. When i think about it...its such an amazing opportunity, i can help heal the broken hearts down there, i can learn and experience things that will change me forever inside and out, gain friendships, meet new brothers and sisters in Christ. See these things are what makes me want to go so bad. Its not forever, six months yes is a long time, but think of all the wisdom and faith, and just service I can gain. I ask that you pray about this with me. Money obviously is an issue, but I believe that if this is the road that God is leading me down, He will help me in providing the needs.
L'arche is another thing that i have been thinking about. I was suppose to call the director guy last Friday but i havent got around to it yet. I would love to say that I havent had the chance, but that would be lying. I feel stuck. L'arche makes good money, and its such a great service to people that I know will teach me many lessons in life, but my foot doesnt seem firmly planted...
Life is full of decisions and choices, and well in these next few months, i will have to make some of the biggest for my life.
I am not much of a future outlooker...i would rather embrace the moments life bring as they come....I know that God has a wild ride ahead of me for my life to take...I just want to do His will. I need to completely give myself over to Him in that...I really just need to place my hand in His and have Him take me down the path. Here i think of "Walking that line"....its one of my favorites... "I'm walking that line, never look back, i'm walking that line, on the right track, I'm never alone, cause Hes holding my hand, and everything's fine cause I'm walking that line to the promise land." Isnt that just such a pure and joyful thought...our hand in Jesus', walking life with Him....hmmm
It seems i have sooo many thoughts just flying around in my head...The wheels just keep on turning...i could literally just write forever.....which may of course cause boredom and you who are reading have probably forgotten what i have just said...but all is well...at least i have been able to clear my mind a bit.
The never ending thought on my mind are friends...they baffle my mind. I long to keep connections with them, and the more i long, the more it seems they have been diminishing. I pray that I am able to see God's work in them, and in our relationships with one another...but I wont continue rambling on about them.
Yesterday as i was walking home i was listening to Casting Crowns...the sun was shining, and the sky was the most gorgeous blue..the song i was listening to was voice of truth....it was a very calming moment. I was at peace and admired the beauty. There was a ton of children out having recess and there were seagulls picking the worms out of the grass...it was such a picture of spring...rebirth, renewal....easily described as undescribable....plain beauty. During the hours of darkness Debrah and i went into the hot tub and as I looked up, i just had the moment to see the beauty of the stars...the ceiling to our world...another irreplaceable image. Often we take for granted the beauty in which God has painted our world....but I highly recommend you all take a break and just enhale the beauty that surrounds you.
Well the time has come where I am going to finish this...Until next time "I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ's sake." NASB, Philemon v. 6

Scars

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is
[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand
[Chorus]
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
[Chorus x2]

I had a lot written, a lot about how last night was and a lot about today...but i decided not to write it. But isnt it interesting the way, that two or three events or people can take a perfectly good week, and bring it to a halt, crashing one down to the pavement instantaneously? Oh how "Happiness" is so conditional...