This little thing called life

I hate the feeling of being stuck. ..You know those things in your mind that you just can't seem to get around? You are stuck believing something that really isn't there or true ..You're stuck in your own little dream. ..and when it all comes down to it, the only barrier to the whole situation is yourself....because you are so planted in confusion wishing things weren't as they seem? I find myself succumbed by that. It's getting better though, I find that with different things I have been able to pass over it, be it with God's strong assistance..and really I only have the one thing left to deal with but everytime I think I can jump the hurdle and put the past away it's like I walk myself right into a wall..The truth is there, the answer is seen so clearly, and really theres nothing to worry about..but getting to the answer, getting to the end seems to be a curse...just cant do it...and why? all because one continues to remain stubborn or blind to the idea of an end or a change. I feel so stuck in what I have seen or heard that I can not bring myself to let it go. Its quite frustrating because its not like I am holding myself back from anything, yet there could be the possibility of holding myself back from everything..yes so enough rambling about that. Just one thing on my mind.
On a happier note work is going well. I am working mornings for the most part as Connie (an employee) went on Maternity Leave...so thats totally exciting!! shes going to have a cute little baby boy to destroy her life..haha just kidding, to bless her life. I hope all goes well there. I am very excited about it, can't wait to see him. So yeah working mornings is pretty nice, because I still have all the evenings to do stuff...which I really don't..but the option is there. I actually went out last night with this new chick I met. I met her through some random guy who came into my store and is actually from London. His name was Ian..we exchanged emails, and now I have a friend in Stratford named Marion! Yay..lol. Shes an awesome person, a Christian..25..real sweet. So if you know my dilemma about not having any friends, making one, especially whos a christian means so much, so thank God for that. We went over to Tango's and had a nice big hot chocolate with whipped cream, and the hugest peanut butter cookie ever lol...we just talked for like an hour and a half, as I had prior engagements for dinner...but it was fun..both of us felt like it was a blind date..cause we didnt know who each other was, or what the other looked like..very exciting. We decided we are going to go to the Y (YMCA) to work out together soon..so thats fun.
So Guatemala is in full gear right now. Praise God for his answers and guidance. I am so incredibly blessed to have this opportunity..theres three months until I leave...so things have to be getting a move on. I am planning on buying my plane ticket..well hopefully tonight, but before friday for sure...This Sunday I am speaking to the Stratford Congregation..as I have asked them to be my sponsoring/overseeing congregation..so please pray for me about that..i could use the prayers...It really is amazing to think of actually going on this trip..for half a year be dedicated to serving and helping others in a complete different culture....to constantly grow and see the mysterious ways of the Lord...eeeeeee (girlie scream). I am very excited.
I have been real lucky this past while to hang out in Waterloo a few times. Its been nice to see my friends, and just fellowship with them...including watching the precious game of football lol. But no seriously I have been happy to go and visit..its encouraging...
Yep so thats my life in a nutshell...guatemala, work, friends, and barriers... its going pretty well..can't really complain. I just need to overcome my hurdle..if only it was that easy...with time though..all wounds heal right? ..i think its most important to want them to heal for that to happen but I am just not sure I want to erase it...gah..like the song says..im a hazard to myself..
can't jump the hurdle until I want to or am ready to...i just have to two very extreme thoughts/opinions that are in my head, like a tug of war..one side screams hold on, one screams let go...and im in the middle being pulled back and forth.. haha very interesting...answer clear, path to there very full..
well im done blogging for the day..its been a while since I have actually done a good one, so yay for today!! and the day off!!! wahoo...