How is it that one acquires a path....
The path that leads to their inner selves.
The path of course is easy to acquire... we live, and it creates itself..but how is it that we can acquire one that is so deep and dark that we ourselves have fear of looking at it.
All we see is fear, pain, and darkness.
Its the part of ourselves we hate to give to others.. the most vulnerable.. the part we don't show anyone, or at least struggle to show..
However, what about when its so fierce that we ourselves cant face it. When one cant look into their own heart, their own soul and reach to find what it is... won't even become vulnerable to their own mind, body, soul...because in doing that, they see what is all too familiar.. guilt, fear, shame, sadness, wrong decisions..one can't think of what to do or say.. consequence.
I hate this life.

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Its been such a long time since I have blogged...
I always have the desire, but never have the time. Funny that.
This thing called life.

Recently my eyes were opened to something new.. A new kind of disappointment.
The kind where it sinks deep into the depths of everything you are, and slices you open.
And all you really ever wanted to do was protect that from ever happening...of course to yourself, but more importantly for someone else.
You know the whole best of intentions.. failed. While it was in the past, it matters to me.
I hurt a friend.. I was crossed off the list.
The list! And while this makes no sense, it makes pure sense. And there is no way to fix it. So I apologize friend. And I hope you still have someone there... some person who reaches the expectations you have and helps you reach you final destination in life, and answers to all those millions of questions. Questions that you have no idea how much I respect you for.
I admire your true challenge of finding Truth. I admire it. And I am sorry... sorry because in letting myself down, I showed you the exact opposite of what I believe, or feel is right. Please know though, no one will stay on that list, simply for the reason they are human, and no one is perfect. but it has affected me, and will forever. Omar